The Parents We Survived

Not all parents are safe.

And not all wounds are visible.

In this episode, I sit down with my sister-in-law for a raw, honest conversation about toxic parents—the kind of dynamics that don’t always look abusive from the outside, but quietly shape who you become on the inside.

We talk about emotional manipulation, control disguised as “love,” generational trauma, and the complicated guilt that comes with setting boundaries—especially when the people who hurt you are the same people who raised you.

This isn’t about parent-bashing.

It’s about truth, healing, and learning that protecting your peace doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you brave.

If you’ve ever questioned your childhood, struggled with boundaries, or felt alone in your experience… this episode is for you.

Transcript

0:01

We grow up believing our parents are our first safe place. But what happens when the people who were supposed to protect you were the ones who hurt you the most? Tonight we're talking about toxic parents, the ones who leave scars. You don't see the ones you're told to forgive because they did their best. But what if their best still broke you? I'm your host, Amanda, and welcome back to Let's Get Weirdish. Get Weirdish. All right, we're gonna give it a couple seconds and that part, this part will be muted and that's All right, guys. I'm here with my sister, my sister-in-law, Bailey, one of my favorite people in the whole world. Hello, Bailey. Hello. Bailey's nervous. So we're, we're gonna open up with some facts about sharks. Okay. 10 interesting facts about sharks. Are you ready? Yep. Every shark you've ever seen alive has been wet. Yeah. Sharks can't whistle. Sharks don't celebrate birthdays. No. Nurse shark has ever treated a patient. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Sharks hunt in the ocean because that's where fish are. If 100 million sharks tried to overthrow the government, they would die because they can't breathe on land. No Tiger Shark was ever included in Tiger King. Sharks can't climb trees. Hammerheads are not actually used for DIY projects. Sharks live in the ocean because they can't breathe on land. Hello? Awesome. Awesome. So. My, my sister Bailey kind of has a similar story that I do as far as where she was birthed by a shitty parent, right? Be absolutely. So my mom, y'all heard a few stories about my mom on here and I'll share some of those today, but we're going to talk about both of our journeys through the womb into life. So everybody knows My mom was 16 when she had me and all the things your mom was, how old do you even know? I don't know. So your Bailey's the youngest, so it's Corbin, she had to be 20 something. Had to be So Corbin, then Conley, and then you. Yeah. So you're the baby out of the three? Yep. I'm the youngest. Do you remember how old you were when they got divorced? You were little. I was one. Yeah, because I wanna say I was at your third and fourth birthday party, I think. Yeah, I think I was one or two. You were little because he got remarried when I was three. Yeah. Okay. So yeah. And I was for sure at your fourth birthday. Yeah. And may have been at your third birthday. I don't know how, I don't know how old she was. So listening. So Bailey actually is my investigator bestie. And if I need to know anything about anything. I call Bailey. I'll find out. I'm your find out girl. She'll find out. She look, find, if you need somebody looked into, just give her the name. She'll find out everything else. She'll give you your, their social where, where their mama's, daddy's uncle's cousin lived in 1942 and all the things. I'll let you know if they have any warrants or anything and anything. So Bailey has all the court documents and tapes from her parents' divorce. And I say parent lightly because your, your mom didn't raise you at all. Not at all. So when, and she's, yeah. So when they got divorced, they were going to court and all the things, but I think it, to my recollection, she was getting y'all every other weekend. I think so. And that didn't last very long. No, because why? I don't know. If you listened to those court documents, you would know. And I know that she was, she was terrible. She was on drugs. Yeah. She was a little meth up. Meth up. Methed up Bethany. But on top of that, I know she was taking y'all to like hotels and stuff. Mm-hmm. And she had random men coming over and staying while we were there. Yeah. Corbin remembers more'cause he was older. But I do remember one time I woke up, I was there, I was with her and I woke up and there was this random man there. Who knows? I mean, who knows if he did something to me. I mean, you don't know, right? You just don't know because you were little. Yeah. And see I never had to deal with any of that. Now Austin did when our mom got divorced, when we were, when I was in my twenties because she was bringing home different people, trying to force him to meet different people all the time. But when her and the man who raised me started dating, um. He never even stayed the night until they got married. So that's one thing that I can say. Yeah. That she did. She never let anybody stay the night ever. But listening to the tapes, like remember we listened to the tapes and like how she would talk to Corbin and stuff. Oh. It's like so sad. Every time I listened to those tapes I cried. It's awful.'cause she was so awful. Yeah. And the way she talked to us, it, it, it blows my mind because every, I think every parent talks to their kids shitty at some point or another. Yeah. Like I've got two wild ass heathens that I love very much. Mm-hmm. But I catch myself on the regular and I'm like, alright Amanda. Like chill out, chill out, chill out. It's okay. It's okay. And then I apologize and I'm like, I should not have done this and this is why I shouldn't have done this. Yeah. Yes. You should be in trouble. But I apologized for it and I never got those apologies. Yeah. Like my parents never said, Hey, we're sorry for being a fucking dick. Whereas I'll be like, Hey Stella, I should not have talked to you like that. Yes. Um, you got makeup, all you being crazy in the carpet, or you shouldn't have punched your brother or Reed, you should not have done this. But I apologize. I'm like, Hey, could have handled that differently, but you're still in trouble. Yeah. And listening to her talk to Corbin, I, I guess my dad was on some FBI crap because he recorded every phone call. He had it set up. So your dad has a mechanical mind, like Corbin? Oh yeah. He had it set up to where like when the phone would pick up, every time she called, it would start recording. Yes it would record. But even before they divorced, when they split. And that's how he caught her cheating, if I remember correctly. Because he had it set up to where when the phone clicked on, it started recording. Yeah. Oh, I have every phone call. That's some handy dandy notebook shit. Oh yeah. I have every phone call. I have all the court documents, but the way she talked to Corbin, that really broke me. Well, here another thing too, like, so you've got your baby, you've got Cammy G, who's a little gangster in her own right? Looking at how you were raised and where you come from, how does that change how you look at her? My daughter will never know anything like that. Yeah. She will always have the best, and I'll always be there for her, and I would never do anything like that to her. What's sad, because me and Stella made a TikTok not long ago, and it was something along the lines of. Loving her mm-hmm. Shows me how easy it should have been to love me. Mm-hmm. And I think my mom loved me in her own way. Yeah. If that makes sense. Like as That's okay. Cried out, boo cried out. Um, she loved me in the only capacity that I think that she could, because I don't think that my mom didn't love me. Yeah. I just don't think that she could be the parent that she was supposed to be. She knew how to, right. She could have made different choices and she chose not to do those things. Mm-hmm. And I catch that in myself sometimes. Like, not, not loving my kids, but they say how your parents talk to you is your inner voice. Mm-hmm. And I see that because I talk to myself in my mind, the way that she talked to me. Mm-hmm. And it's just habit because it's what you, you hear growing up and yeah. Your mom didn't raise you per se, but. Even just parents in general, whether it's your dad or Stephanie, or my mom, my dad, Matt. Like I hear them when I talk to myself. And so I try to tell myself how I talk to them is going to be their future inner voice. Yeah. And so when I catch myself maybe saying something that I shouldn't say a certain way or whatever, I'm like, whoa, I just heard the Annie come out of me. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, reel it back. That's not how we're supposed to do this. Which is hard. It's hard to do. Yeah. Shitty moms man. Shitty moms DMA dozen. I mean, we have way more, but, when, I don't know, Stella was pro. How old is Stella's? About to be nine. So when Stella was probably five or six, we reconnected with your grandma Uhhuh, your moms, your birth's moms. Mom. Yeah. And also guys, so Bailey and Corbin and Conley's birth mom has passed away in the last year. Yeah. And so, um, this maybe isn't a topic that we would've talked about before. Whereas like me, anybody who asked me about my mom, I'm like, I'm about to tell you everything she's crazy. Like, just listen. And some people who know them are so quick to defend them mm-hmm. And be like, oh, um, they weren't like that and they loved you. And people like that are very good at reeling people in and having this whole fake personality. And they're like, oh, they're so sweet. And they're, they're, they're these good people. But behind closed doors, it's a whole totally different scenario. So when we actually reconnected with Yaya, which is your mom's mom. Mm-hmm. Uh, that was kind of the thing, like we weren't going to. Have that relationship with your mom At first, like that was very much a Yeah, we didn't want to Yeah. Weren't gonna do it. And I remember texting you and telling you that Carol was coming to our house and you were like, oh, I'm gonna be there. And I was like, okay, cool, cool. And um, I may have been shitting my pants the whole way over there, but I was gonna be there. Yeah. And see, for Corbin it was really important because he had tried to talk to her twice when he was in high school, and your dad like lost it. Mm-hmm. But for him it was, I want to, I miss her. Yeah. Like, I need that for myself. That closure. And the last time we talked to her, and he was still in high school, so this is like pre her coming to our house, she called Christie Bailey and Corbin and Conley's mom, and tried to make him talk to her on the phone. Mm-hmm. And so he never went back up there until. That day that she come over and almost immediately she started defending, talking shit, Christie. Yeah. And so, and we had told her before she came over, Corbin told her, you're not gonna mention this. Mm-hmm. You're not gonna talk about this. We're not talking about, and if you want to meet my children and have a relationship with us, like that is not gonna happen. Yeah. And as soon as I got there and sat down, she jumped on me. Yeah. About all that crap. And I think it's because you're the youngest and you don't remember Yeah. As much as Conley and especially Corbin knew, like maybe she thought she could get one over on me and two. But I look at it too, from a mother's perspective, if it was my child, and don't get me wrong, wrong is wrong. Yeah. But it's like would how far would I go to defend my children? Yeah. But I also think I would love my children enough to protect my grandchildren from them. Yeah. If that even makes sense. Yeah. So I feel like there's only so much you can defend, but fast forward. So you chose to reconnect with your mom? Yes. I finally got the courage to do that. Why? What was your reasoning behind it? Because I just needed answers for myself. Right. And I wanted to know. I mean, I knew Well, and there's so many people who told you like, Hey, I know that. Like I can tell you you had the court documents. Yeah. But I think there's not enough in life said about how meeting someone like that face-to-face and figure.'cause two, you don't know if they've changed. Yeah. You have no idea. How did it go? It was, well, I had, I made my friend Shelby drive me to Shreveport. No, drive me to Ruston because she lived in Shreveport at the time and she met us in Ruston and we went to eat and it was awkward. And then Shelby made us take a picture and I kid you not, we were wearing the exact same outfit I was wearing the shirt. The same, same exact shirt. I was wearing a shirt. She was wearing the same exact one, just in a different color. I was wearing black leggings and so was she. And we were both wearing flip flops, which seems like a small thing, but like it was the same exact shirt. Yes, it was the exact outfit. Just in a different color, which blew my mind. So then it's almost like, this is what I've been missing my whole life. Yeah. Like the other half of what I was supposed to be. Yeah. And it was good for a while, which it was awkward. She would call me and she'd be like, I love you. And I'm like, okay, well I remember when you told me that you were gonna do this, and you asked me my opinion gone. Yeah. If you need that validation of who she is, like you should do it. Yeah. You should, because you don't know if they've changed. You don't know. Even though you have the court records and the documents and you know factually what happened, the emotion's not there because you, you didn't live it because you don't remember it. Yeah. And she, we would talk for a while and then, I mean, I was just awkward. She would tell me that she loved me and I was like, okay. Right, right, right. Like I don't, like, I don't love you, like I don't know you, you know? Right. It takes a long time Yeah. To form a bond like that. And then things started going downhill. So dear all this Carol, y'all's grandma Yeah. Was very sick. Yes. She had cancer. Well, she'd actually beaten cancer twice. Yeah. And she had a neurological disorder. Yeah. And I don't know medically what it's called, like dictionary wise. Yeah. But she couldn't talk anymore. She couldn. She couldn't even text on her phone, like, no, couldn't. So the, the last time we saw her was, what, three Christmases ago? Yeah. It was on Christmas. And she could talk a little, and that was the last time we all saw her before she passed away. And you had convinced Corbin because literally Corbin will do anything for you. Because remember when you said, I'm gonna go meet Christie. He was like, that's cool, that's fine. But I'm not like, I don't wanna meet her. I don't wanna be around her. And so you, you called Corvin and was like, yo, I need you to come with gonna be there. I need you to go with me. And what did he say? He said, okay. And he went, what? That was very awkward. Yeah. Oh yeah. But we, we made it through and then we went and ate Mexican food. But I remember, so like I knew that she had been legally blind and, um, for sure in one eye, but I wasn't expecting. To see it. Does that make sense? Yeah. Because like one eye you could clearly see it was bad that she was blind in. And so, and this is the first time I had ever, because I remember when Corbin had met Carol, like we went to see her in high school'cause she owned that bar and then they bought the store across the street. Mm-hmm. Um, we had went to Shreveport for the weekend and Mark accused us of going to meet Christie and we literally just went to Shreveport and went to the boardwalk. And I don't remember what else we did. We went to Bass Pro. Yeah. Just spent the weekend and because of course we were still dating. This is way before we got married. And I remember him losing his mind because he thought that we had met Christie and I had never laid eyes on her in the wild until that day. Yeah. So I was just like, and you know me, I already talk a lot, but when I get nervous I just try to, you do it more, feel the empty space. And so I was just like talking out of my ass. Yeah. And she kept trying to like, tell stories about when y'all were little and then like talking about Corbin's seizures because she has seizures, but from a totally different thing. And, and so I was just like, da. Mm-hmm. It was very awkward. I was ready to get out of there and I remember when we left and we went eight, we were all just staring at each other. Like, what did we just do? Like what just happened? What just happened? So what happened? I know, like, so y'all were still good when Carol passed away, right?'cause I know her and Donna had come to your house and that was before, right before Carol passed away, I think. Yes. But when she did, boy on one second, she was playing us. Hey babe. Yeah. You okay? Yeah. What you doing? I check her now. We're okay. You can open the door real quick. Hey baby. We're just recording. I. I love you. I love you. All right. I can hear you out there. You can get my iPad and take it in the theater room. I have. Okay. I love you. So can can I grab a snack? Sure. Okay. I can't really remember what happened, but something happened and I was like, I started distancing myself. You did? And I'm trying to sit here thinking about it. I'm trying to remember what he was. I would have to go back to our messages and look. Also, Bailey, investigator Bailey, FBI, investigator, uh, professional Bailey has screenshots. If you've ever said anything cross to her. There is a screenshot and a folder with your name on it. Yes. Okay. In 1972, before text message was a thing there. She has a folder about it. Oh yeah, I do. They're all in there. But anyways, after she died, Carol, Carol died. She was. I mean, she was texting you, she was like, what? She was messaging me on Facebook. Yes. Because I never gave her my number, but I accepted her friend request on Facebook. Yes. Now my, let me just say this before we continue with this actual, the ending. The ending. We should have gone back to when she we're going back Right. Now, let's go back to when I found out she was posted. Bailey was in school, pictures of me. Mm-hmm. Okay. And I, I have that Bailey literally. So we were able to look at her Facebook from other people's, Facebooks. Mm-hmm. And she was taking pictures not only from their childhood, some of'em were from Carol's, like that she had taken and was posting. I mean, it was from the time around when I got from high school and stuff. Yeah. When I got Case. Like posting your pictures online. Like she was involved in your life. Oh yeah. And acting like she was there and acting like she knew us. Mm-hmm. So I unblocked her on Facebook and I went and found her Facebook and I commented on my pictures that she posted to me and I just let her have it. Yeah. And you like lost it. And then I went and liked your comment. And then she blocks me and then she sends me this long paragraph. And remember she sent me a message. She's like, I thought you were different. You have never met me, ma'am. I'm very mean. I'm very aggressive. Like all five foot of me is aggressive. Yeah. I let her have it. Let her have it. So there's, I mean, there's like a history. Don't even know how she got my pictures. Did not give her consent to post pictures. Well, and two, I wonder, and like if I need to redact the name, I wonder if some of it was Angela Johnson because Oh, it was, she like attacked you. Oh yeah. On Facebook. And then I lost my shit on her. Yeah. It was her. Yeah. I don't care. Say her name. It had to be because she was so defensive of her. Uh, yeah. So she was like, you don't know, you weren't there. She was a good mother, whatever. Corbin was always here. And I'm like a good mother. Like Corbin wasn't always there. Corbin was with her or Carol. Mm-hmm. And I think he went to Nana some, but he was, he stayed with Yaya the majority of the time. Like that's where he went because um, when we went to her house the first time after they had reconnected like as adults, like we had kids, all the things. She still had Corbin's tackle box and stuff and like gave it to Reid Reid's still, he's got Corbin's tackle box when he was a kid and things like that. And most of the pictures from when he's little are with Carol. Yeah. But I don't think that Christie had them a lot of the time. And this is before you were born? I think either Nana had them or Carol had them. And she obviously had them some, I mean she was y'alls mom. Yeah. Your birth. Mother, the lady who gave birth us. Yeah. Yes. But from what I know that from Nana's side of it has said that she would say she had back pain all the time and like couldn't take care of them or whatever it was. So, I don't know. Now, don't get me wrong, they had some traumatic shit happened. Like she, she was ate up with cancer, um, after the divorce. Mm-hmm. They all, so her Yaa and Carol's husband who mm-hmm. Passed away. I don't know if Corvin was even born yet when he had passed away, but he, they all three had colon cancer and stuff. Yeah. So, I mean, you know, I don't, I don't mean knowing they was going through it, but I mean, no excuses. They put us through it. That ain't no shit. Karma. Karma gets you every time. Yeah. Okay, so when you saw all of the pictures on Facebook, were you just randomly scrolling? No, I think somebody sent them to me. I don't remember. They did. Was it, was it Stephanie? I don't remember. I thought it was you. It may have been, maybe she sent them to me because I know that she would keep a check on her Facebook or maybe I looked for some reason. Yeah, I think you sent'em to me. What did it make you feel like to see like your life on somebody's Facebook who never was a part of your life? I was mad and just really made me hate her. Because she was acting like she was there and she was never a part of it. And it was weird too, because the few times we looked at her Facebook, like she was posting pictures of a vehicle that she didn't have. You remember that? Yeah. All this fake stuff. And we also thought she had another kid. Yes, yes. We thought she had another kid, but apparently it was not. But it looked like it was, apparently it was a friend's kid. I think when they buried her, wasn't it just Don and Donna there? I, I think so.'cause I wonder if they, I don't even think Donna was there. Was she? Oh, I don't know. I didn't think about that. I thought she was in the hospital. Yeah.'cause she went straight from the hospital to rehab. Mm-hmm. I know when I would see Annie post pictures of the kids. Knowing that like she would show up, take pictures of'em for two minutes and leave. Like it always burnt my ass. Yeah. So to see, because you don't have a relationship with them, right. So to see your pictures and she's never actually been there. She didn't come take those pictures. Yeah, she stole'em. Yeah, stole them. I was mad. You should have sued her ass. I should have. She probably thought I was going to after what I told her. I remember. Because it wasn't the first time either that we had seen that. Mm-hmm. The first few were, but normally it was like, yes, baby pictures of all of us. But this, I mean, this was like my relationship. This was like when I got my dog, me and Landon got our first dog together. Way outta high school. Yeah. Because you got Case when y'all were in the apartment. Yeah. You and your daddy. Mm-hmm. Because it, was it a, was he 20? He was a birthday or something new? Something. It was 2020. 2020. So you were how old? I was 20. You were 20. In 20. 20 I would've shut my bridges. Yeah. And I can hear Landon now just being like, just let it go. Don't say anything. It's fine. But I said something. And I was so proud of you. I said something. I can't remember exactly what you said either. It was like ruthless though. Oh, I have the screenshot. You wanna read it? It'll take some scrolling. Screenshot. Queen. Oh, oh. It was something along, along the lines of Please quit pretending. Like you are a part of our lives when you were never there and you were just simply the woman who gave birth to us. Yeah, that's exactly I think what it said. Yeah. Tell, tell everybody about before you decided to reach out to Christie, when you found out like her, address and phone number and stuff. Oh, see, like I'm a little FBI agent. I had her phone number, I had her address email address. I had everything before I even reached out to her. Like I knew everything. You know you're in the wrong job, right? Like you work at a dentist office and I know you love that job. Yeah. But you've missed your calling. Yeah. Like didn't even have to ask for an address. But I mean, I asked anyways, but I already knew it. I didn't have it. Did Did you drive by there or did you Google Earth it? I don't remember. I Google Earthed it just to see what it looked like. Yeah.'cause you wanted to know what kind of neighborhood she lived with. Mm-hmm. But she actually lived with Aunt Donna. Donna, and it's actually like a really nice neighborhood because we weren't expecting that. No, I was expecting like the ghetto because we didn't know that she actually lived with Donna. Mm-hmm. Like Donna took care of her from the time. I don't think she ever worked. Yeah. No, she didn't.'cause. I, I think I'm wrong actually. Did she, or maybe I am. Right. Did she work when Corbin and Conley and you were little Yeah. At some car dealership. Yeah. Because I think, wasn't she having an affair with somebody she worked with? Mm-hmm. Yeah. But then I, I, I think once she got on drugs, she didn't work anymore. Yeah. And it looked like on Facebook. What, what vehicle was she posting and saying that it was hers? It was like a jacked up Tahoe. Yeah, like a fancy one with like big rims and very ghetto Bailey. Because you do you remember almost every vehicle you've had, you've like had like all the glow lights and all the things Mac Sonata. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And did what didn't. The one that like you hit the button and it would change colors and stuff. Yeah, so I remember when I saw that, I was like, okay, this this tracks. Yeah, Bailey gets that from here, but it wasn't real. No, it wasn't real. It was all like ai before AI was a thing, it was all like fake. It makes me wonder if she was like going to Pinterest or something. I think she was, because she would also post selfies of this random woman. I. And act like it was her and it was not her. She looks nothing like that. I forgot about that. Yeah, because in, in her pictures too, you couldn't tell that she was blind. Mm-hmm. And like, I'm not, people are blind. Like, I'm not saying that, but like, when we looked at the pictures and then when I met her for the first time, I wouldn't have recognized her on the street even seeing her Facebook pictures. Mm-hmm. Because she looked nothing like that. Nothing. She was very good at using a filter. She was, and her hair was even completely different. Mm-hmm. Like in her picture, she had like red hair. Yeah. And then in real life she had black hair. Right. And it's not like she was dying it, like you could tell in the pictures that it wasn't real. Yeah. But you couldn't tell what she actually was supposed to look like. Yeah. Like this person wasn't even her that she was posting. Yeah, it was, and then it makes you feel bad because it's kind of like Theresa in a way. Like does your, is your life so bad? Like you are making up like the version of your life you wish you would've had. Mm-hmm. But she didn't have that life because of her own choices. Yeah. Which is depressing. Mm-hmm. For her. Not for us. No, because we did, don't judge us, but we did eat that shit up a little bit. We did. That's what you get, bitch. And it was crazy because I remember how mad you were when you called and you were like. Um, as I sent you the pictures and you called, you were like, what the fuck? How did she get these? And I was like, I'm about to comment, and you're like, I'm waiting. I'm, yeah, I was ready. I'm reloading it. I'm waiting for this comment to come in. As soon as it did, I was like, thumbs up and harps, because it was, it was two comments. You left one, you left the long one, but you left one on a different picture. And I don't remember if it was like. On the same post, or if you had scrolled down because there was so many, and then like she, do you remember she would post Conley too? Mm-hmm. And she was like, my baby, happy birthday, my baby. And I was like, fuck Corbin. Like there was nothing on there about him. Yeah. But I wanna say, and I could be wrong, didn't she have a wedding picture of me and Corbin that she posted at one point Uhhuh and I couldn't figure out how she got in. Because Annie went through phases of like deleting her Facebook and so I don't know. And she wasn't friends with Annie because I remember looking and, but she had so many friends in common with us. But you and all of our pages were private. Mm-hmm. So I have no clue how she got those pictures. Ms. Angela had to be Angela. That's the only thing that makes sense. But there was somebody else. Who y'all were friends with who had liked her post because you told Nana and Nana was like, that can't be right. But it was, and it was somebody she knew. I don't remember. God Dogg it. It was a like a husband and wife, but they were old. I dunno. Or you babysat for them or something. It was something somebody you knew or they worked at the church or was somebody in the church like this sounds like totally different ends of the spectrum of what I'm saying, but it was somebody y'all knew. I don't remember, but somebody was given somebody. But I do agree. I do think it was Angela. I mean, one of the pictures she posted. Had my friend Logan in it that she cropped out. Yeah, she cropped Logan out and just posted me. What's weirder to me though is not even that she was still in the pictures and posting them. I think the weirdest thing to me. Was that people who are from Bastrop were liking and commenting on the pictures. Yes. Like it was fine. Yes. And was like, she's so beautiful, da da, da. She looks just like you. She looks like you look like her. Had she not gotten on drugs? Yeah. Like say that. Yeah. She looks just like you would've looked like. Why are we encouraging this behavior? People are crazy. They are crazy because everybody knows she. Had no, especially you, she did not raise you. Mm-hmm. And we're just like, let's let her live in Lala Land. Yeah. Like that. That's on accountability. Because I'd have been like, yo bitch, you ain't seen them kids in 72 years. And then I wanna say, when I posted on her Facebook, I said something to Angela. You did and then she blocked me. Yes. But I also said something to Angela and then she actually hemmed us up at the grocery store. One day we had come into town. This was after we sold the house. And am I being summoned? She was talking to Corbin. And I'm just like standing behind her, staring at her like death daggers. And she never even brought it up. And I'm like, if you're gonna say something, say it with your chest. Like, look at me. Mm-hmm. Look at me in my eyes. And she wouldn't like, I'd like walk like this. And then she'd like kinda like, say it with your chest. You can say it behind a screen. Yeah. Defend her all you want. Like she was on drugs. You have the documents to prove it. Mm-hmm. Literally. Literally every single one, because remember all the judge said was like, get clean, pass a drug test and we'll revisit uc and your kids. And she never came back to court. Mm-hmm. Because Stephanie took out school loans to pay for like, and Nana help too. So it was like a cumulative at this point had been like going on for what, almost a year or two years. Hmm. All she had to do was get clean and easier said than done. I get when people are like in the thick of addiction, like it's hard to do, but then you've also got Yaya saying she's not on drugs. Yeah. Everybody defending her, but I literally have the pictures where they found the freaking needles all over your house. Right. And she was failing the drug test. Yeah. I literally have all of that. Right. Because I remember them also talking about, and that may be in the papers too, like she was found, I think in a house on Daisy Street mm-hmm. In Bastrop living with a bunch of men. Like, she was like, bad off. Mm-hmm. And, you know, defend your child. But at some point you've got to protect your grandkids and say, Hey, this isn't, this isn't right. Yeah. But the day Carol came to our house, I remember her telling you like, your mom didn't do all these things and she loves you. And she, she know she's always thought about you. She didn't love us enough to get clean. Yeah. She chose that over us. Right, But I also understand that from a different perspective, like dealing with my mom, like, and you look'cause and I don't know how you felt at the time and we'll get to that, but watching my mom downward spiral was one of the hardest things that I had to do. So it's like obviously the right thing was for y'all to not be around her ever, but did you ever wonder if I would've been able to still see her and maybe things would've been different? Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Because we didn't get to see her. So I mean, when we did it was like it didn't last that long and until dad got full custody of us. Right. So, which didn't take him long. And back then it was really hard for a man to get full custody. Mm-hmm. Still to this day. Yeah. And so like the facts were there. Yeah. Because they had a private investigator and stuff too. Mm-hmm. And then the drug test and the court and all the things. cause I used to wonder if my dad had had custody of us. Would things have been different as far as like our life outcome? So I'm sure in your shoes you were like, maybe what would've happened had she not gotten on drugs, and what would my life have looked like? Mm-hmm. It's always like in the back of your mind. Oh yeah. I think about that often. I'm sure. And, and I know, I, I know people who are addicted to drugs or were in the past and like, I feel bad for them. And you know, I, I love watching people get clean and having a recovery. cause it can ha you can do it one time and that's it. Like you're addicted. But looking at my kids as a mother, it, I just wonder how you get to that point. Mm-hmm. Because can you imagine. Doing that when you look at Cameron's face? No, absolutely not. It's sad. It is. It's very sad. She liked your brother the least. At least you can say that. Like you were like at the top. Conley was in the middle and Corbin was like, yeah, she was so awful with Corbin. She was. And so your nana, and maybe that's because he was older. I think so. But your nana says too, so they were on a four wheeler and they wrecked it. Okay. And Conley flew off the four wheeler and it broke his femur. Mm-hmm. And Nana says that's really kind of when she already wasn't great to him, but that's when it was terrible. And I don't Were you born yet? Yeah. Were you? I remember her and it happened because him and your mom were still married. I remember him being in that cast. Yeah.'cause he was in the cast for a long time. Mm-hmm.'cause it was like a. Wasn't it like a waist down cast? Yeah, it was like a full body cast. Yeah. And I wanna say his arm, like his arms were in a cast too. Yeah. And then they had the bar and like had like the suspension thing. Yeah. And it was holding it up as if Corbin being a kid probably didn't feel bad enough. And I know like when kids do stuff, your immediate reaction is like, holy tits, what'd you do? You know, why'd you do that? But it was a freak accident. Yeah. And then now you've traumatized this child who's already traumatized because he threw his brother off a four wheeler. Mm-hmm. And then I think that's really kind of when it got bad, that's when she started hating him. Yeah. But still, I mean, he's your kid like, right. He shouldn't have those feelings towards a kid. Well, I think about it like this too. You give birth to something and you automatically, it's supposed to be ingrained in you to love your child. Yeah. But as a kid, you're conditioned to love your parents and it's like you e the worst of the worst parents. The kids still like yearn for that love and approval. Mm-hmm. So you growing up not ever having her, like I can't imagine how that felt because I know with Annie I constantly, even though she was there, I was constantly like, please love me trying to get her love. And So you couldn't even fight for that. Yeah, it was rough. I can't imagine. It was not fun. You know? Who did love you though? You. I did. I loved you so much. Yeah. You were my first baby. The sister you never wanted, but I loved Anyway. But you got, I got you. I got you. Yeah. Tell, tell about when I took you shopping. Um, Amanda was like 16 and she was working. Two jobs or one job? I think it was one because I did dance and I played softball and I played soccer, so I had to work during the summer. Yeah. Since starting at 15, she saved up all of her money and took me shopping, took me school shopping, and spent like$600 on me. A lot of money back then. Yeah. Especially being broke and poor at 16. Yeah, it was a lot of money, but. It was fun though. She's pulled the heck outta me and I can tell you exactly where we went. We went to RU 21. Mm-hmm. And that's when it was like popping. Yes. RU 21 was the stuff we got shoes, perfume, clothes, all the things. I think you got jewelry. A hacked. Yeah. I didn't even, there was bags. Bags of shit. Because that was how many years ago was that? I was probably, I was almost, I'm 34. It was almost, I was, what, nine? Yeah. Maybe. Oh my God. Was that almost 20 years ago? Yeah. What we're old the shit? I know. I'm about to be 26 because it's, I automatically wanna be like, it was like 10 years ago. No, but I have a 10-year-old, so that doesn't, that's the math's, not math. Yeah. That's good stuff. I was, uh, 15, 10 years ago. Mm-hmm. So, God, I will tell you this though, regardless of everything, like you are one of the best moms I've ever seen. Well, thank you. You are like, I'm proud, so proud of the mom that you are. Stop it. I am watching you. Raise Cameron and love Cameron. It just. I wish I would've had a mom like you. Yeah, me too. Oh, tit bag over there crying. I do. I wish I would've had a mom who loved me the way that you love her and watching you, especially with everything that you've dealt with and grown up with you, it just goes to show you choose who you want to be regardless of your circumstance. Mm-hmm. You're a wonderful mom. Thank you. You are welcome. You are too. Thank you. I'm not though. You are. I'm mean. You are. I try. I'm a thug and you can take the gangster out of the, out of the hood, but you can't take the hood out of the gangster man. No, and I tried to pull it out of myself, but you know, I told my husband the other day, he judges me because I have a very bad. Pajama addiction. You do? And I told him, at least I'm not buying drugs. I'm buying matching PJ's for me and my daughter. You know, addiction runs in family. And it does. And you can choose what you're addicted to. It does. Mine is bags. Mine is pajamas. And it's not even purses. It's like Marshall's. Little matching makeup. Zippy bags. Pajamas. And then I sew. So I make my own and then I see them there. If somebody. Post a link for PJ's. You can guarantee you that I'm, they're going to be in my car and I'm going to buy'em. You got us all matching pajamas for this trip. Yeah, like I love PJs and I'm wearing them right now. And honestly, I love gift giving. Gift giving is my favorite thing. Me too. I love getting people shit ever. Like I used to get you stuff all the time. All the time. You would just show up at the house and be like, I went to TJ Maxx and I got you this basket when I had my Hy Ectomy. But it would be good stuff. It would be good stuff. When I had my hysterectomy, you got me this basket and it had a blanket. Oh yeah. And it had a candle and I think it had, it wasn't lotion, maybe it was like a body like scrub or something. All kinds of shit. Now it's just like, thank you child. I'm your mother. Come suckle my teeth. I love you. What? Yeah, but I have a pajama addiction. At least it's not drugs. Mm-hmm. And it's not even likes pajamas. It's like the comfy button up. Yes. You best believe me and my daughter will have all the matching sets, all of them. All of them. And the sweat sets, oh my gosh, love them. Me and Stella are matching comfort sets. They give us life. Love them. I wonder if they have Cameron's size. I know. We need to figure that out. I think it's like toddler is their smallest size, but I could be wrong. Well, she will get one whenever she's perfect. She gets bigger. I just love her. She's the best. She's the best. And watching Stella and Reed with her is so sweet. Oh my God. They love her. They do. Stella thinks she hung the moon. Yeah. And Reed's at that age where it's just like, like he'll love on her and like pat her on the head and then walk off and then she like throws her arms up, like, eh, and he's like, okay. And then just totes her around like a doll. Yeah, she's perfect. Jeez, I want 20 more of'em. Please God, do it. I don't know where I'd put'em, but I don't care where you put them. I will help you. How you have them buy an extra large. Well, look, if y'all would just let me live my dream and start a family compound, we should do it. We should do it. And then there's so many other like. All of our houses, you can just send some of'em to another house. Mm-hmm. Go sleep over. It'll be fine. Look, there'll be Dana, us. Y'all just have the slew of everybody. Well, if you do that, then you gotta do Logan and Hailey. No. Well, of course everybody's coming because we need workers. Okay. Because when World War III happens and the government shuts down, we need people to help grow our food. Okay. Yeah. And Haley can also sew. Yeah. But she can sew things that I can't, so we'll just have her make our clothes. Mm-hmm. It'll be perfect. It works out for everybody. Yep. And we gotta figure out Nana, Nancy says she's gonna teach me how to can. Okay. Oh, we need to do that. We do. And we'll be like the Amish, but. So one of the houses that we looked at, we actually put an offer in on it. This was a couple months ago, and we got outbid, but it was an Amish house. They had the electric cook up and had, you know, it all, all the power on, but all the neighbors were Amish. And I was like, this is what my life was supposed to be. I am going to make them love me and teach me everything. You know, they would've never talked to me. Yeah. But I was gonna try my damnedest. Mm-hmm. Teach me how to make my own flower please. Geez. It'd been, it would've been great. Crazy. Me and my Amish homies, I can see it now. Get your horse and carriage. Mm-hmm. Well, actually, funny enough, so, um, when we were doing like the video tour, because this house is gonna go quick, so we put an offer, we had like seven days to go see it, and, but somebody outbid us like there was an all cash offer and. I don't know what they'd be doing for a living, but they were from Wyoming and I'm just trying to figure out what their job is in life. Mm-hmm. But our realtor was walking around the house and there was their, their buggy and you know, with this little reflectors and stuff, and I was just like, I could do this. I could do this. Did you wear the little hat? No, I think I could until it got hot. Yeah. And I don't know that I could wear long sleeves every day and you'd be itching. So I think I would try for a week and then get, I'd get over it quick, but I would still try to make them all my friends. Yeah. And then did you know that if they're moving long distance, they can ride in cars but they can't drive them? Someone has to drive them. Why? They're not supposed to have be in Vehiculars. That's crazy. Mm-hmm. But they've got life figured out. Yeah. We don't, sometimes I wanna take my phone and like chunk it into a ditch and just be yolo. But then what if you need to FaceTime me? Yeah. I have to have that. Sometimes you don't answer anyways. Well, in my defense, I'm really bad about keeping my phone on me. Yeah. I'll send you a Snapchat and then you'll open it like five months later and then you'll save it and then you'll respond to it. And I'm like. What did I send? You Don't even know what you sent. In my defense, I have none. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You have none. Um, also though, I did go through my phone and clear out my text messages. The other day I had over 200 unopened text messages. Now I only have like 30. Who texted you? All kinds of people. Oh, uh oh. Gods people. I've got like 20 from Theresa right now. Unopened. I need to see that later. Yeah. Um. I have my red receipts on. And so, and if I open them, she sees, but it's been so many days since the last one, like you just have to go through there. And every now and then I'll respond with like, oh, cause I don't wanna be that person. But also, no. Yeah. Uh, we don't wanna talk to her. She's crazy. She is. And, and, and I really think I should call Lifetime. And make a movie series about different family members because her, her, and Annie, while they're both very not safe people, it's on two completely ends of the spectrum. Yeah. I think Theresa's been removed from two to three churches in Morehouse Parish. That's crazy. How do you get kicked out of a church? I didn't know that. Mm-hmm. Like, how do you get kicked out of a church? The first one, and, um, I wanna say it was Faith Baptist Church, and somebody will correct me if I'm wrong, but also don't come from me. I know my truth. Um, Annie had, that had opened that consignment shop on the Square and Bastrop. Mm-hmm. Same as it never was. And Theresa would come up there and work up there and help her or whatever, and mom was up there one day. And somebody walks in and was like, how's your mom doing? And she's like, she's hiding. And they were like, oh, well, like I'm, I'm glad her treatments are going well. And, and it was like, what treatments? Like oh, for her cancer. And he is like, oh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. She'd been telling all these people that she had cancer. Mm-hmm. And was ill like, ill. She was not. And she's fine. She's just mentally not right in my head. Right? And then I remember even the growing up, she like, I've got, I've got the papers. I've got the papers. Prove it. Prove what, which part? Like that you're not okay. Or that, that you got cancer, that you need to be in a padded room. And this is sad, but the next one's gonna be testicular cancer. And she doesn't even have testicular. But I can see it happening. Like ring, ring, ring. Hello? Or that Jackie's gonna have it and he does. Oh, no, no, no, no, it won't. That will never happen because then she won't get the attention from it. Yeah, because Papa actually was not doing good a couple months ago, and I even thought about going home. It was right after Granddaddy passed away. And he was really sick and he ended up in the hospital and stuff. And Austin, they thought he had like a tumor or a cyst, but his intestines had twisted and he was like puking, like they were talking about going in and cutting some of it out. All of the things Austin was freaking out'cause papa. Never goes to the doctor. He never misses work, nothing. He's trying to get up out that house for the day. Yeah. Every day. And it turned out he had food poisoning from some tacos she made, and it made him so sick and he threw up so much, his intestines twisted on themselves. That's terrible. And then were you trying to murder him or was this an accident? I need to know, obviously it was an accident. It's pretty bad when it gets to the point you get kicked out of a church. Yeah, and that's the second, that's the, that's the, I know for sure of two, but I think there's a third. The last one was the Upper Room Am Bastrop, which is a cult. It is a cult. And, and I know this because she made, she got me to go one time and it was fine. Like everything was fine. But also they were saying like, oh, if God, there it was something about some kind of moon or I don't, don't quote me. Mm-hmm. But something was happening in the, in the sky. And either it was gonna be that day was the rapture. Or it was gonna be in like seven years. Yeah. First off, it says in the Bible like nobody knows when he's coming back. And so I'm panic. I'm like, I'm about to die today and I need to get right with the Lord because I'm not, like, I, I love Jesus and I pray every day, but I got a mouth on me and so like I'm already panicking, which should have been my first sign. But Reed was little and Corbin was gone working. He was on the rig. And Annie would go shopping all the time, but would never come by the house. And I was struggling like mentally because I really think I had postpartum depression. Yeah. Because it was weird stuff that I'd freak out about, like, oh, this charger cord that's across the room's gonna get wrapped around my newborn's neck and then I'm gonna wake up and he's gonna be gone. Or stuff. That didn't make sense in my mind, but you know, and I remember calling her when I was like, I'm not good. I'm not Well. I can't sleep'cause I'm scared he's gonna stop breathing if I sleep. So I'm exhausted. All things. And she was just like, we're playing cards with John and Cheryl, I gotta go. Okay. I know. And I couldn't drive at that time. No, were little. And you didn't have vehicle? No, I had one remember. But the air had quit working and it was like hot. Yeah. Hot. And I was scared to drive with him because my, I, I really think it was postpartum depression. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't have a vehicle then, or I would've been there. Yeah. See, when Stella was born, I was there every day. Every day. Whether you wanted me or not, I always want you. I was there every day. Every day. So I would, I would get off work. I would leave West Monroe. No, no. I wasn't working. You were working at, you weren't working yet. I was at the rehab place. Are you sure? I was at the orthopedic clinic. That's right. That's right.'cause I forgot you worked there. I would get off. I would get off there and I'd come there. Because I didn't wanna go home Right anyways. You didn't wanna go home and in the, uh, vampire Den. Yeah. I always felt like it was a vampire house. It was so dark in there. Yeah. And like the air was stagnant. I told Stephanie a while back, I was like, you could cut the tension with a knife every time you walked in. You didn't know what was gonna happen. And then one would be in one room and one would be in the other. And then there I'd just be standing in the middle and like. Hello. Hello. I'm leaving now. Goodbye. And I was always in my room. Always. So Theresa had called me and they had women's prayer group and asked me if I wanted to go, and I was like, yes, get me out of here. So she came and got me.'cause like I said, I didn't, my air wasn't working in my car and I had to be postpartum depression. I was scared to drive with it. Yeah, I, I don't know. I was struggle busting and once I was good, I was fine. But I was like, what the fuck was wrong with me? Like I was not okay. And everybody, like my mother, I told her I was not okay. And she's just like, LATI do, let's go buy 72 pairs of jeans. So I go to this women's group and I've been to a mini a churches like, um, brother Jerry at Stephanie's church was Papa Bob's best friend. Mm-hmm. And so like he would go speak at his church and we'd go and then. Um, one of my best friends growing up was Pentecostal, and when I was at her house on the weekends, we would go to church with her. So I was very used to people speaking in tongues and all the things like, no big deal. I'm here for it. I love it. I wanna see you run up and down the aisles with your flag. I love it. Do you hear me? And so I go to this prayer group meeting with her and. All these women are like, they're laying hands on different people and they're all speaking in tongues. But you know me and you know how weird I am and how sensitive I am to things like, and I'm like, something's not right. Something was not right. Okay. And then I remember Theresa telling me that they had a woman, there was a woman there, and I can't remember her name. And um,'cause it was sad'cause I think it was a lady, her husband had been molesting her grandkids and they found out like the next year and then he offed himself in the prison in ba the jail am bastard. Okay. So sad situation, but she would like translate what they were saying and Theresa was like, that's her gift from God. And I'm like, hmm. Okay. And then she said like their preacher was a prophet and that's how they knew that they were gonna die that day, but they didn't die. And I'm like, don't drink the Kool-Aid.'cause this is like that movie. Mm-hmm. That show that real life thing. Okay. So I'm sitting there and they're laying hands on this person and they're like speaking in tongues. And I immediately go, something's not well here. This is witchcraft. And I don't know why I felt that way, because I've never like looked into witchcraft or anything weird Okay. Like that. Like that's not my gem. And I knew something was wrong, and Theresa was like, let them pray over you. And I was like, mm-hmm. Mm, not gonna do it. And she's like. Why this is Women's Prayer Group. And I was like, y'all ain't touching me. And I remember walking outside and calling Annie and I was like, you gonna have to come get me. Something's not right here. She didn't, she didn't come get me, but something was wrong. But before she even started at that church, she was wicking. She said she was wick. And Theresa was a wicken in between churches. And so when she went started going to this church, she like threw out all of her little books and stuff.'cause Theresa was a different person every month. And so like when she said this, I never even like paid any attention to it because I'm like, you were Santa Claus last week. So cool. It tracks. But I'm telling you there was some weird shit going on there. But she got kicked outta that church too. Mm. And if anybody goes to church there, I don't care what y'all say, maybe it's different now, but there was some weird shit going on there in 2018. In 2017? Yeah. No, 20 15, 20 16. Y'all was doing some weird shit predicting when the Jesus is coming. I can't Witchcraft Bailey. And they were just like touching people. And then the somebody speaking in tongues and then this lady's like, oh, this is what she said. And I'm like, this is some Mickey Mouse ass bullshit. Mickey Mouse. It's crazy. Where are we? We derailed off the tracks. We did. That's okay. We'll cut all that. No, we're gonna keep it. Oh, it feels right. You think Annie still has um, red fingernails? Yes. Long red fingernails. Yes. Um, that's how I knew her by mm-hmm. Um, slut Red. Yeah. Whore, Red's, what we called it when, uh, growing up. Mm-hmm. I mean, she did too, like whore red. And I remember one time she, um, tried to paint'em a different color and she took it off immediately and painted them red. My mom's nails were always brothel red, literally and very long. At least an inch. Yes. And it's all her nails. Mm-hmm. Real nails. Every time I see red nail polish, I just look at it and I'm like, Nope. Cr not for me, because who was it? Was it Taylor? And every time me and Taylor go get our nails done, Taylor gets very serious about it and like she has to like days leading up to it. She's on Pinterest. And she's on Instagram. That's me. Figure it out. Yes. Wait, what? Design? What ghetto design y'all two. But I end up not getting a design. Oh, she does? And And Taylor, I know you're listening. She be getting some raunchy ass shit. And I'm like, that looks like some shit. A fucking teenager weekend. You are a grown ass woman. That's me. See, I'm always like. Oh, what design should I get? And you can ask the girls at work, I will ask them, what color should I get? And they're like, Bailey, you're gonna get pink every time. Time you go, you're gonna get pink. A shade of pink. And usually like, you like baby pink a lot. Yeah. And they're like, you're not gonna get a design. You're gonna hate it. You're gonna get pink. Mm-hmm. Stop asking us. So I was like, I'll get blue. So one time I went and got my nails done and I got blue. Wasn't it like a teal blue or something? Yeah. I remember that. My socks uhhuh because you sent me a picture and I was like, that's, you're not gonna leave that long. No. Mm-hmm. Taylor. One time Taylor got rhinestones one time, I was like, what in the hell is you doing on your feet? But she don't wear tennis shoes. She only wears flip flops and sandals. Yeah. So like everybody sees'em shining from a mile away and you have, if you've got glasses on, you're gonna go blind because it refracts the lights. It's like, damn. One time I remember it was when Reid and Stella was younger. I got yellow, uh, and I hated it. I hated it. I was like, this is what I get for stepping outta my comfort zone. We don't step out ever. Like I will find the cutest design and I will prepare myself to get that. And then when I go sit in the nail chair, she's like, what color do you want? And I'm like, pink. I want pink. I panicked. You panic. Pink. It's like pink. You got the picture in your hand of the the blue cheetah. Pink. Yeah. I'm like, I want pink. Pink. Nothing else. No design. Just pink. We were there one time and Taylor was like, that red's cute. I was like, never. Don't speak it. Yeah. I am not my mother. And she's just looking at me like, what? You're crazy. Yeah, but I can't do it. And I'm bad about that too. I'm either black, dark gray, or like a dark green. Yeah. And then in the fall. It's really hard for me to get a fall color. Like I still want to get pink, but I will. Oh, see, I fall a nail all year round. I'll get, I will get a black. Mm-hmm. I actually, the last time I went to get my nails done, it's um, sunshine Nails in Turlington. Love you girl. Anyways, clap. Clap. I told her I wanted black and she said, oh no, you not get black. I not do black for you. I was like, why girl? Like, I want black. She made me get, um, some Christmas design Uhhuh, and I was like, okay, whatever your heart feels like to do. I mean, it's cute. It's cute, but it's not me like I'm a pink girly. It's funny you said that because there was this lady in Arizona who always did our nails like me and Stella even took her gifts for Chinese New Year. We love this lady. But when Taylor and them were in Arizona with us the first time I had one and I was so excited and I wanted this nail.'cause every now and then, like I'll step outta my comfort zone with the nails. Mm-hmm. But pedicure I go have done. Uh, so Walmart, it's the, I forgot what brands like KISS or whatever, but they have the pill and stick nails and I will go and I'll get those and they last two weeks and that's wonderful. But a pedicure, no, I want you to scrub the death off of my feet and sometimes I'll get a manicure too. It. But I had this set and it was like I had like this design picked out on Pinterest. It was so cute. It was not myself, but I wanted it. And I showed it to her. Her and I can never remember her name, but she's so sweet. And she said, not for you honey, not for you. And I was like. Black. Please. Just black. I know everybody at work gets mad at me'cause I'm like, I'm getting a different color. Like what color should I get? And they're like, Bailey, you're gonna get pink. Mm-hmm. Like every time Taylor sends me like a neutral color, I'm like, yeah, that looks so good on me. And she'll go. That was for myself. And I'm like, you know, this is a lie. You know, this is a lie. There'll be like smiley faces painted on her toes. Mm-hmm. And like some, like remember, um, the Nickelodeon slime thing? Like, it's just, I'm like, you, you are not a 16-year-old girl. Mm-hmm. And it's funny because when we went to Nebraska last time, her bedroom at her parents' house is still how it was when she was in high school. And it all makes sense now. Mm-hmm. Everything is hot pink and zebra. Everything and see me growing up. I hated pink. Absolutely hated it. Hated it. You loved purple and blue. Yes. And orange. Yeah. I don't see, I don't remember. Orange for you. Yes, and orange. Everything was in my recollection. Purple and blue. Yes. Hated pink. But now here I'm pink, everything. 26 years old. You're a girl mom. I'm a girl. Mom. Give me all the pink. Gimme the pink and give me the gold. Yeah. I love it. Give me all the pink nail colors. We should have went and got pedicures. Yeah. Wait, that's what we, we should have done that.'cause I need one back. Ain't that not for you, honey? Yes ma'am. I know my girl said the same thing. She said, you not doing black. I was like, please. She said It's almost Christmas. Taylor asked me one time, she's like, why do you do such dark colors? I'm like, it matches my soul. Like, please just leave me alone. Yeah. Okay, these nails are fall all year round. Mm-hmm. Because like when we got here, my nails are black and I pulled'em off'cause it had been two weeks and they last so long and I love them very much. Shout out Walmart. You'd be doing the most and it's just the pill and stick. And they last so long. So long. But, Okay. So back to Carol. Mm-hmm. So Carol passes away. Yeah, let's get back to that. Mm-hmm. Because I went off on her too then. So Carol passes away and like she's calling you, but she sent me a message on Facebook and said, I'm trying to pick out her clothes. And I like, I'm trying to find a dress. And I said, take it. She lived in Shreveport and the funeral was in BA in Bastrop. And I said, well, she didn't wear dresses, pick out a pair of pants and a blouse and shirt. Yeah. Yes. I said, because that's what she would've wore. And I'm sorry that I'm not there. Yes. Yet, like to help you pick these things out. Because I don't even remember what state we were in. Were we in, I think we were in Oklahoma. Yeah. Somewhere. And we were like heading, no, we were in Texas because Mr. Gary passed away and in less than 24 hours she passed. Carol passed away. Yeah. So we had two, two funerals in like two days. Oh yeah. That's literally what we did that whole week, and that was the start of the shit show because then a few weeks later, my daddy passed away. Yeah. So it was like, do do, do do, do. Well, she was acting like she was there getting stuff ready for the funeral and didn't know what to put her mom in and was just making all these plans. Right. Come to find out the bitch was in Shreveport the time the, she was never there the whole time. Didn't even show up to her own mother's funeral. We live and we didn't know until we were at the funeral home because Aunt Donna, who is the sweetest soul, bless her heart. Yes. Her tiny little sweetheart. You said, where's Christie? And she said, oh, she's not coming. And you thought maybe she had gotten upset and was just like at Carol's house or something? Yeah. I thought she was staying at Carol's house. Mm-hmm. No, she was in Shreveport the whole time. Never even came in. So, but had also been posted on Facebook Yes. Of like, how she had taken care of her and how much she loved her and how she was in Bastrop and Right. And she, you know, had lost her mind, like, don't get me wrong, trauma affects people in different ways. Like, I'm not saying like she could not mentally handle coming. Maybe she couldn't. But you don't tell your children that, the people you gave birth to, that you're there. Yeah. Picking out her clothes when you're, you're two hours away, you're going through her stuff and you're literally two hours away. You're not even there. Like, that's some crazy shit. So then I just kept ignoring her and she texted me one day and she's like, uh, what's wrong with you? I feel like you're mad. And I just unleashed it and it just all came out. Give us the synopsis, man. I went off on her. Are you pulling up the messages? Yeah. I'm, and it's like, and it's like you feel kind of bad'cause like now she's gone, but at the same time it doesn't excuse. What they do, like the lies, man, what was the point? What was the point? I just unleashed it that we're reading the messages right now. We might not read'em over the mic, but this is good to me. I just don't, because she just kept texting me and I was just short. Yeah. Okay. Like, okay, how do you lie about this? And then to turn around And so this is my thing with, um, so y'all, y'all was with the same man for like 30 something years. They never got married. Whatever. We don't even have to speak his name on here, whatever. But I've heard rumor that things were done to her by this person. Don't know if that's true, if that's not true. But I also wasn't sure if he was even gonna show up because he was late. Like you remember that? Like he didn't show up till right before the end, like right. First started. Yeah. And then he wouldn't let us go to the burial. Right. Nobody got to go, which I thought was weird. Like she was being buried across the street. None of us got to go. Only he could go, which I thought was weird. But after everything was said and done, like right before Christie passed away, you know, they took him to court and got him evicted from her house and then she sold the house. I crazy bitch. I gotta get off that. And I never understood the reasoning. Yeah. Unless now if what has been said was true, like totally get that a hundred percent. Like do what you gotta do. Yeah. Get him outta there, but nobody knows. Yeah. The whole thing was just. She's just a shady person. Yeah. It's wild. So, oh, and she kept telling us, you have money. You and your brothers have money. All you have to do is sign something at the funeral. Yeah. And we're like, okay. Right. Nothing. No, no word to that. There was, it was all a lie. And not that anybody even cared about that. Nobody even wanted that. Whatever. Yeah. But she was like kept, you have to show, show up to the funeral. You have to show, you have to be at the funeral. I had these papers for y'all to sign because she left y'all something. And there was, and never showed up. And there was never anything said. There was nothing. Which makes me like, I, I don't know. And there's gotta be a way y'all can find out because you know, like sometimes grandparents will have like savings accounts for grandkids or whatever. Mm-hmm. And I don't know if that was a thing or not, but there may be a way for y'all to find out. But like, it makes me wonder in my mind too, like she realized she was getting a bunch of money. And then she was still in the house or whatever. Yeah. And then whatever. You're her kid, like obviously that goes to you and rightfully so. But you ain't gotta lie and tell everybody. Yeah. We were coming regardless. Like, but you, you, you didn't show up Yeah. To your own mom's funeral. Yeah. And then I think the majority of the family left that talked to her, cut her off after that because she didn't show up. Yep. And so when she passed away, they actually buried her in Shreveport because she didn't wanna be brought back to Bastrop. But there was so many people in Bastrop like freaking out, like, who's gonna get, go get her? Like who's gonna have her funeral? Oh yeah. We were getting messages and calls. Yes. Between you, me and Corbin. Like, um, y'all have to do this and y'all have to do this. Well, first off, we don't have to do anything. I don't have to do nothing. Like she did nothing for y'all. Yeah. Like we don't have to do anything. And then once it had come down to it. I actually did handle all of it for y'all. Amanda handled everything. And I still want my state dinner. Don't even know. Don't even know the lady. And she, no, didn't even know the lady but me and the Bossier Sheriff's department went round and round a couple times, but got it taken care of and it's just wild. And to me, like the woman, I remember dealing with the insurance lady and she was like, like, how do you not know the answers to these questions? And I said, she did not raise my husband and his siblings like she was on drugs and she did not raise them. She was gone. She lost custody and now we are left with the aftermath because her mom is also gone too. And I know none of the answers to these questions that you have. Even the sheriff's department was like questioning me and I'm like, I don't have the answers. Yeah, we don't know. I'm just here man. I'm trying to get this done for the insurance company because, and then like they wouldn't release, um, her body to be buried until Corbin signed papers and stuff.'cause he was the oldest. So like, we took care of that too. But everybody who was so worried about it, y'all weren't worried about it before she was gone. And now that y'all think there's something to be had, like now y'all are worried about it. Mm-hmm. And why? Okay. Because they damn sure wasn't worried about y'all getting anything or doing anything. And they damn sure haven't been worried for the last 57 years of y'alls life. Mm-hmm. Obviously you aren't in the fi your fifties, but you know, like it's just crazy how when somebody's gone, people are so quick to come out of the woodwork. Yeah. To be like, Hey, here I my hands out. Like, give me something. Yeah. Who've not been there. Random people. Right. It's, and I could, I could say her name, but I don't know. If she listens or not, so we'll, not, we don't need that on us, on our backs. Yeah. But that, that really just pissed me off because you don't know me, ma'am. Right? And you're over here. My dad's trying to change his insurance plan and you're over here hounding him. Yeah. About me, about this. And which it, it's weird to me too, because how ballsy. Yeah, that's so ballsy. Like your dad's calling to change his insurance plan and you wanna hound him about his ex-wife who was on drugs and didn't raise any of her kids because she's gone like, stay in your lane. Yeah. Like you're a second cousin removed. Third time a charm. You know, we don't know. Like, go back. Yeah, get out. It's crazy. And people think they have the right to do those things and like we were all just like damned and determined to not handle any of it. And then when it come down to it, you had to handle how I had to handle it. And then Corbin was like. I'm not doing it. And then I called you and Conley and I was like, look like this is the situation and we're at situation station and we gotta do this and do y'all want me to handle it? Y'all were like, yeah. And then once it was all said and done, like I'm glad I was able to do that for y'all. But holy tit man. It was a lot. It was a lot. It was a lot. And it still just kind of blows my mind. And, and Conley, I'm gonna say this, you were driving us nuts. You were driving us nuts, Conley for 30 minutes, but you were driving us nuts. Look, I made the appointments the best I could. Okay. I did my best. But also I'm glad Conley chose not to handle it. Yeah.'cause I can just hear him cussing out the people at the impound lot for the vehicle and all the things and y'all would've never been able to take care of it because he would've went to jail. Yeah. He would've went to prison. Yeah, exactly. For all the things. Threatening an officer, like all of the, all the things that happen. But I will say that the system is rigged. So what they do, and I I, I finally got this all figured out with the insurance lady. So their mom and aunt were in a great aunt, were in a car wreck, and that's how the, she passed away. And the sheriff's department has their own impound lot. And then they take it and they don't tell you that they don't contact anybody. And then Aunt Don was in the hospital because she had a broken back, all the things. So she's not handling this well. The sheriff's department puts it in their own impound lot and they charge like, I think it was like 37 or 42, like random as number dollars a day, a day. And um, they don't contact you. Until there's only a few days left. And they own the car. Yeah. Because after so many days they now own the car. Mm-hmm. But they let it rack up thousands of dollars.'cause what was like almost$4,000. Mm-hmm. In impound lot fees that we have now by the time about. Yeah. And they don't, they don't contact you and tell you where the car is or anything. Like, I had to call the sheriff's department. I had to call the investigators. I had to call everybody hi to, I'm surprised I didn't have to call Trump. Like, I don't know. Yeah. We don't know how. And so then they're like, okay, they're not gonna be able to afford it. So,'cause who, a lot of people don't just have that money laying around and um, so they're just gonna leave the car here, then we're gonna own the car, and then we're gonna turn around and sell the parts or however they do it. So. And they were pissed when I got it figured out. And I was like, dude, no, goodbye. We know what y'all been doing. Y'all been holding this car, y'all been hauling this car, which is illegal charges. Then they told the insurance company, so the insurance company is supposed to go and get the car and take it, and then the adjuster like looks over the car and does all the things and they do their own investigation and they weren't gonna release it to the insurance company. And I was like, yo, hold up. I done got this figured out too. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. It was what? Like a month and a half almost. Oh my God. It was getting it done. It was so drawn out. It was crazy. And then y'all still had to drive all the way to Shreveport to even sign anything. Yes. I had to go to Shreveport twice. And y'all had to like prove y'all were her children? Yes. That's wild to me for something. I mean, I'm glad we did it. Yeah. But I, I'm glad y'all do too. it's almost like a closure type thing. Yes. It is like an into an era. And it makes me sad though, because like I love Aunt Donna and Aunt Donna's so sweet. But, and I know that was like all really hard on her, but for y'all, it's like a, this is done. It's finally over. Yeah. It's done. I mean, we still have trauma obviously. Right. But we don't have to deal with her. Right. If that makes sense. I know. That's, and it, it's like, feels bad to say. I know that's, but, but no, and I get that because like with my mom, and it's like, I tell people all the time, I love her. I want the best for her. But I had to, the easiest way for me to say is grieve her death in my mind years ago. Mm-hmm. I grieved her death. She's alive. I grieved her death. She's alive. She's very much alive. I grieved her death years ago for my own sanity because I couldn't. I, I mean, at that point, like even when, um, she was raising us, um, and people who know her always say this like, you choose to believe what you want to believe. The people who lived in that house, they can tell you, you can ask any of us. Like, we're very quick to be like, you know what? Care about her. Love her. But these are facts, this is truth. even in high school would text her multiple times a day, call her multiple times a day because I was scared she was dead. Mm-hmm. I was constantly scared she was dead. And then as an adult watching what she was still doing to me and having to let her go and cut that relationship off, I had to in my mind say she's gone grieve her and be done. Mm-hmm. And I think that was, that was so hard to do because I had mothered her. For so many years. Yeah. Even though she didn't want me to do that, but I felt like that responsibility was on my shoulders. And so what do you do? You have to like, you're gone. I grieved you. It's done. Because I remember one time I was actually pregnant with Stella, so Reed was a year old and we were in Nebraska and she got mad. They were living in those apartments that you and your dad lived in. Mm-hmm. And um, I'm sure her and Austin had gotten into it too or something. I mean, she was always mad at somebody who was always a thing. And I still love my mother, want the best for her, but we're just gonna be brutally honest here. we speak truth. She called me and she was like, I'm about to myself and if you call your Aunt Karen, or if you call the police. Um, I'll never forgive you. Well, first off, you'll be gone. So like, how do you know? Like harsh truths, like you won't even know. Yeah. So whatever. But I had been dealing with this kind of stuff for so long. I just, you know, you do what you do. You've got, okay, I've got my steps, my five step program. I obviously called Karen and she was like, are you fucking kidding me? And I'm like, I'm not. So, um, her and then one of mom's friends went over there and she had already, she had like packed up her house or it was like, I'm leaving everything. I'm moving away. I'm never telling anybody where I'm going. Like, first off, we've jumped from like, you're about to be inked. Off yourself to now we're moving states and you're never telling anybody where you're gonna be. Yeah. Because you're starting a whole new life. Okay. So Karen and them were, were like, you know what? We're not doing this shit today. We've got other things to do. And then like two hours later, and I'm just assuming she's gone because like I'm assuming the cops that I don't know what's happening. And I didn't call because I've got a 1-year-old, and at this point I'm mentally just so tired of dealing with it. She calls me and I answer, and I'm like, hello? Because also on that first phone call, she's like, tell Reid I love him and I'm so sorry. And I'm like, I'm not telling my 1-year-old shit. Okay. Like that's a you issue. Yeah. But she goes, I'm on the way to Nebraska. Send me the town that you're in. What? Absolutely not. But I did because I was so like you. It's like a trap. Yeah. It's a trap. And like you're constantly just trying to keep your parent alive and. So I send her the thing and she's like, I'm just gonna stay with y'all. Like, I'm gonna try to go to work with Corbin, like, whatever. And Corbin's like, okay, but um, she can stay here, but she's gonna get a job and she's not gonna cause any trouble. That lasted a whole 72 minutes when she got there because she, she drove,'cause I don't even remember how many hours it was to there, where we were.'cause we were in Ono, Nebraska. And she gets there and it's all fine. It's all fine, but she immediately starts drinking and whatever. And then she gets pissed off at Corbin.'cause Corbin's like, no, you're gonna have to get a job. And like, you can't have all these shoes here. Like, we're in a camper and just whatever. She gets pissed off at us and fucking leaves that same evening. And then drives like, so she drove all night, got there in the morning. Was there all day, gets pissed off leaves and then falls asleep, driving and wrecked her car. Not bad enough that she couldn't drive it, but like, that's se manic ass shit, man. Yeah. Who does that? Who does that? So we, we've jumped from multiple different scenarios, but I just thought you were unloved and now here you are with all your shoes. Yeah. I don't know. Let's talk about the time she showed up at your house banging on all of the windows and you had to go hide in the closet with Stella. Stella. Still remembers that. Okay, so, um, this one's a story and I told a little bit about this story actually on the last episode. Full circle man. Yeah. Okay. So, I always felt like I didn't belong, like I always felt like I didn't belong on dad's side. And I always felt like I didn't belong on mom's side. And more so it, in my mind, it was like my mother doesn't love me. And why with dad's side, it was more like I was, I don't wanna say the black sheep as a kid, but as I got older, and I think a lot of it is because I, I'm very much an uncensored person, and if you ask me something, I'm going to tell you. And if it hurts your feelings, I'm sorry, but I'm not a beat around the Bush person. And so I never felt like I fit. And I remember telling KK it was Stella's third birthday. It was the one where everything was kitty cats. Mm-hmm. Remember we had the balloons and the confetti. And Annie had been there that day and was mad because remember Brandy and Jay Van were at the birthday and Annie was dating Mark, this was before they got married, mark fillers. And apparently Brandy and Mark hooked up before. Jay and Brandi met each other. Oh my God. Like 10 years ago. Right? Like Annie, you've been married like several times at this point. Everybody has, has a life before you. Mm-hmm. Like I know you don't like to think of it that way, but she was so pissed and she got pissed off at Hillary.'cause Hillary was like, like, you're acting like foolish. Annie was pissed off that she was there, pissed off at me and dragged Stephanie outside and it's like, she's here and blah, blah. And Stephanie was like, okay, okay. Why does it so they all leave. And it was actually the weekend, it was the day of the Mardi Gras parade because we drove and met Casey and went to the Mardi Gras parade. But KK was sitting there helping me clean up, and I look at her and I said, you know, is this really my family? Like I don't belong anywhere. Because I remember being little and asking if I was adopted all the time, and she'd be like, uh. Who at 16 would adopt a baby? And I'm like, okay, your logic is there. Like no 16-year-old can adopt a baby. So it tracks. But I, I was crying and I was like, I just like, how is this my life? Like I just feel like nobody gives a shit about me and I have no family. Like I don't get it. And she said, well, I gotta tell you something. And I was like, fuck, dun, dun dun. And she tells me that. Is she moving? Mm-hmm. We're watching a baby monitor right now that Annie had been telling this man from South Louisiana for like 10 years. That he was my dad and Karen was convinced. I mean, because she's convinced that this man's my dad. Like, that's a lot of work, that's a lot of effort to put into something that's not real, you know? Um, is telling this man and his wife that he was my dad. Backstory when Annie would have gotten pregnant with me, this man was already with this woman also. Annie was 15. Okay. When he knew her and was lying and saying that she was like 19 years old because back in the eighties it was just a free for all. You know, everybody was at the bar and doing shrooms, you know, every, it was just, you are doing your thing. And'cause like I know Annie had gotten in a lot of trouble with a bunch of kids who went to school with her for, um, one of the kids' dads worked at the military base and he had stolen a bunch of military IDs and they had printed their pictures on all of them. And they were using'em to get into bars. Like they got in a lot of trouble for this. So I mean, he didn't even know we're gonna get to that. We're gonna get there. So she's like, this man is your dad. Or probably like, maybe he might be, she's been telling him and I'm like, what are you talking about? Yeah. And she's like, he lives in South Louisiana. Um, this is his name. This is his wife's name. And I said, he knew and like never wanted anything to do with me. And she was like, that's actually not true. Um, your mom, him and his wife were going to try, try and they wanted to, and Annie told them that it would ruin your life, that your nana and granddaddy, not daddy, but your nana and granddaddy would be devastated. Okay. And now me and my daddy weren't that close growing up. Like my dad loved me, but my dad was always off working, whatever. But two, you know, I've got her telling me all these things in my mind like, oh, your daddy beat me. And I'm sure he did beat the shit out of her a time or two. But I also watched her antagonize people, like the man who raised me until they were so far at their limit. Like, I mean, I watched her throw a picture frame through a door one time. Like a damn, what a ninja star. You know? I mean, she, she could get you, she could get you over that edge to where you might would do something. And so in my mind I'm like,'cause daddy never hid any of his other wives. He didn't hit any of'em, you know, like it was just And that's not, domestic violence is not funny. But y'all got to, if y'all just understood, if y'all just knew. If y'all knew. So, um, he, him and his wife had wanted to meet me Because he has other kids. He's got four kids and wanted me in their life. And she was like, oh yeah, that this will run her life. But not only was she telling this man this, she met this man in Shreveport and this was from his mouth to me. She had told Matt that she had a kidney appointment and this man who, I don't know what he does, he's got money, he's very smart. He's something, he's somebody. And um, he was gonna be in Shreveport at this hotel, like for a conference or something, something to do with something. She drives there and brings him pictures of me, okay. Like from baby to like 1617, which is the age that I was at this point. And then sleeps with him. What? Mm-hmm. And that is confirmed. She would say that it didn't happen, but I heard it from this side and this side. That was factual.'cause I asked, that's a, well, I asked this man later. Okay. At this point, you know, obviously, I don't know, I'm 16-year-old bee bopping around, drinking, partying, living my life when I'm not taking care of my brothers with my grandparents and taking them to practices and doing all the things that I had to do. But they, you didn't know this until you were in your twenties? Until Stella was three. Until, yeah, Stella was three. So she all, this is like going on as I'm growing up, when Facebook became a thing, something unleashed in her and I was like, ha, I can now contact all of these people and had come up with like this whole thing because, so she was living in New Orleans and she was dating daddy because, you know, they lived all over the place. Theresa was always moving, still always moving. She just bought a house, so like she didn't even moving. No. Mow, but she's probably moved 72 times in my whole life. And, um, and I'm only 34, so that just gives you a picture. Back in the eighties. Yeah. She was Bebopping Steel. So they had been in Bastrop, they had moved to New Orleans and um, she had met Daddy while she lived in Bastrop. And so her and daddy were dating and like Daddy would go see her on the weekends. And, um, she was also seeing this man who was an adult Yeah. And didn't realize How was he, he was, he said that he was like maybe 20 or so, I don't remember. I'd have to pull up the messages, but she was 15 and he had no idea. Yeah. Like when I talked to him, he was like, no, that the, the years aren't right because she wasn't. And I was like, no sir. She was, she she got played. You got played. She was 15 and, um. Her and daddy were seeing each other. Yeah. And Daddy asked her to marry him, or I don't know that daddy proposed. So mama and Karen got married on the same day at the same time. They had a double wedding. And Theresa, my grandmother, which topic for a different day y'all. But she, she, she's crazy as hell too. Told, she told my nana and Zach's dad's mom, Ms. Nelson, that she was dying of cancer. And that is why for the 51, she was letting her two babies. Annie was 16, and Karen was about to turn 19 or just turned 19. Anyway, that's why she was allowing them to get married. Okay. That's the story that I've gotten mm-hmm. From my nana, Nancy, who is a thug. And she, you know, and so that's why she was letting her freshly 16-year-old get married because, um. And he turned 16 in January. And how old was John? Michael? Daddy. So daddy died October of 2024. He was 52 or 53? No, when he got married to Ann. I know. I'm trying to do math in my mind. Oh, I don't know. I'm trying to math it. Was he like 18 or something? I was like, I'm gonna go off for Annie, her ages now, but I don't even know how old she is. So maybe it's me. Maybe I'm the shitty person in the scenario. No, but so she's a couple years younger than daddy. Like maybe three years younger, so he may have been like 19. Okay. 18, 19. Because she got, he was still a teenager. They got married the March after she turned 16. So she turned 16 in January. They got married in March because their anniversary date is very close to Reid's birthday. Because daddy was just convinced that I was gonna have Reid on that day. And he was just like, what? So, um, where was I? Okay, so Karen's telling me all this, okay. And I'm like, this tracks like, I immediately am like, this tracks, I really don't belong here. Like I don't belong here. And like, don't get me wrong, I was my granddaddy's favorite and my nana, Nancy loves me. She does now and now that she's never not. But like, I wasn't her favorite. And that's okay. Like, I don't have to be everybody's favorite. I was granddaddy's. And that counts for something. It counts for everything. But, I just really felt like I did not belong. And so I was like, maybe that's where I belong. So I sit on this information for a couple of weeks and I tell Corbin and Corbin's like, this makes sense. That's why your mother hates you. And I'm like, what the fuck? Command? Like, we don't say that. Okay. So I, it's like two in the morning, one morning and I'm like, Yolo, I'm about to shoot this man a message. And I was like, I remember when you did. I said, and I don't remember the specifics, but I was like, Hey, I think I'm your daughter. Literally started like this. I was like, Hey, this might be weird idea. I was like, this might be weird. You know me so well, but, and you might not know who I am, but I might be your and, um. And I was like, you know, this is who my mother is. And this is just what I've been told. I was like, you know, like I love my dad and I love my grandparents very much and this doesn't change anything, but I really makes sense. Am trying to figure this out. Yeah. Because, um, if I have other siblings and things, like I, this is something I want to know. Yeah. And he was like, I have been waiting on this for years, but why didn't you reach out to me?'cause he didn't wanna run my life. And so like I look at it from that perspective. I get that. Yeah. Because he didn't find out about me until I was like 16. 16 years old. Yeah. 15, 16. So if you're a man, finding out that you have this child and then you and your wife who he was with when this child was conceived and his wife actually told me that they almost got divorced over this. Okay. Oh God. And I'm, I, I now I'm like, was that Annie's long game? Was that the long game? Mm-hmm. Because she knew from the get go. Mm-hmm. She knew that this wasn't true, but this man, I mean, I, and it's weird because he sent me a picture of his sister. I look just like his sister. Yeah. Do you remember me showing you that pic? And it, so I was like, oh, that my, that my daddy, that's my dad. I'm not baby pap. So I'm like, um, okay. Like, cool bro. Cool. And his wife sends me a message. Okay. No, no, no. He's like, I've been waiting on this a long time. Like, I didn't wanna ruin your life, but I'm so glad you've reached out. Like, how did you find out? Like, did she tell you? And I'm like, no, KK told me. And he's like, um, you know, we've, we wanted a relationship with you and she told us that we would ruin your life and she didn't wanna destroy your life. And I'm like, cool, I get that, but are you crazy? Because I need to know, like what I'm getting into and. We talked for like two weeks and he's asking me questions about my life and about different things and like as I'm telling him all these truths and not too much, just enough, he was like, holy shit, I'm so sorry. and I'm like, what? It's normal. Like what you, what are you saying? Sorry for like, this is horrible.'cause in my mind, he's asking me questions and I'm just telling him and nothing like, not a lot of details, but looking back now,'cause people will ask you stuff and you like tell like Miss Dana, y'all, my brother-in-law's mother, it's an saint, she's an angel. And me and Bailey were talking last night about some of the things that have happened like to us over the years, like from our parents. And she goes, I don't understand. She was like, I'm so sorry. Yeah. I had no idea. Yeah, because she said. She said, I've never had to deal with that. She said, I have great parents. Congrats Dana. Congratulations. We love that for you. And so, um, I'm like, sorry for what? Sorry. You know, sorry for what? And his wife reaches out and she's like, I had been wanting to, um, okay. So actually backpedal like a week and a half. So before I messaged him, I added him and his wife on Facebook. Mm-hmm. And his wife messaged Annie. Oh shit. Mm-hmm. And now Annie never told me any of this. She, she sent me the screenshots and they also sent me pictures of the messages between them back when I was a, like a teenager. Yeah. They had the facts, man. They were ready. They were, they were ready to go to court and fight for custody. And so they sent me, okay. So any, you know, was like, that never happened. No baby. I saw it. I read the messages. Um, but she messaged Annie and was like, did you tell her? And Annie's like, no. why? So that she added us on Facebook and then this is literally Annie's response, screenshots and all. Um, Amanda's my nosy child. She's just a nosy child. And probably saw that I was friends with y'all on Facebook and, um, added y'all what? Why would I go and do your friends list? And that's when she changed her friends list to private, by the way. Mm-hmm. and add them. So like his, his wife like messaged, like, did you tell her like, I wanna message her, but like, we're scared, like we don't, you know? And she was like, no, she's just my nosy child. Okay. So she's telling me this. I'm like, nah. That didn't happen and they start sending me like pictures of all of the back and forth over the years and, and all the things. And so I don't tell Annie and she never brings it up to me either. Yeah. At this point she does. Like, I would be shitting bullets and be like, da da duh. Hey, this was the thing. And like it's not a thing. And so Don talk to them, all the things like you would think she would've said something to me, Annie would, happened, she didn't. So we go to Menard, Texas and he's telling me he wants to meet us and all these things. And mind you, like all, all of this time I had just had my hysterectomy and which doesn't sound like it should coincide with this, but it does. Okay. Because my granddaddy knew something was wrong and my nana told him it was'cause I had a hysterectomy. And so I was different because I didn't have hormones anymore. Okay. So, um. And your granddaddy probably just went along with it. He was just like, okay. Doesn't track. But sure. And this whole time I'm dealing with all this stuff and obviously me and my dad are close. we over the, ever since my kid's been born, me and my daddy have been very close. And so like he can, I think, tell that something's wrong, but I'm just Um, trying to figure out life and all the things. And he's like, I said, well, I'd really like to have a DNA test done before I meet you. And he's like, no, I don't wanna have a DNA test done. I know you're my daughter. I've been waiting on this a long time. My parents are going to love you. My kids are going to love you. We love you. And I'm like, sir, you don't even know me. I understand. I, he's like, you don't know me. You're, I'm not a delight. I'm not, um, there's very few people who, who truly like me because I'm just so honest and all these things, and he's like, no, like I love you. I said, I'm going to have it done. I'll pay for it. He's like, Nope, I'll pay for it. He called me, he said, I've already paid for it all. You just show up at this place. He's like, I'd like to go together. And I was like, mm-hmm. Nope. Doing this by myself. So here I was at 29, just freshly 30. Just freshly 30 I think. Or maybe I was 29 and I walking up in a DNA clinic in a hole in the wall. Um, freaking I say that wasn't a hole in the wall, but you know, it's what you feel like, you're like, I'm trash, who is my father? And going and getting a DNA test. And it took a couple of days. And I remember he didn't even call me. He text me, he's like, I need to talk to you. And I was like, okay. So I call him, he's crying and he's like, I'm not your dad. And I was like, fuck. Like, but it's just crazy because Annie put them through the ringer. They almost got divorced. Yes. They almost got divorced. Over this, over this. And she knew. She knew because when, so I sat on this information like, and I cried because I was gr and I, like I said, I love my dad. I loved my dad. Like, I still, like, I have such a hard time with his death, but when you feel like you don't belong and then all of a sudden you are like, this is why I felt like I didn't belong. And then to figure out it was all a lie. Yeah. Like, you put these people through so much shit. I'm used to it. They didn't know, like Yeah. And you're trying to start a relationship with this man. Yeah. And, and what had, what had, if he had told his children Yeah. When I got in contact with them and they would've gotten excited. They're divorced now. They're divorced now. But they weren't then. Yeah, they weren't. And I mean, they're good people. They're good people. And, um, I mean, everybody's got their flaws, obviously. My mom does, but she has a whole list of them. Yeah. And so, oh, she's chilling. Did she lay back down? Yeah. Um, I, he was like, I'm so sorry. And he's crying. He was. I still want you in my life and still wanted to meet me because in his mind, for the last 15 years, he thought that I was his daughter. Mm-hmm. And I was like, sir, I can't do that. Sorry. You know, his wife still tells me Happy birthday on Facebook. Yeah. And I still tell her happy birthday. And like, I would, I, I would sit there and be like, ex-wife. Yeah. Ex-wife. Um, how does this play out? You know, how does this play out? And at this point, she doesn't even know that I know, you know, she just, I'm her nosy kid and found them on Facebook, so, and put two and two together. Right. So, like I said, he was trying to get us to meet him and like calm down there. And I felt bad for not, because like, I can't imagine thinking that I've had a child mm-hmm. For all these years and having this woman bring me pictures and contact my spouse and all the things, and like watching this child grow up through pictures. Who looks just like my sister. Mm-hmm. Which is weird. It's something in the Louisiana water. I can't explain it. But, and then to find out it was all a lie. Mm-hmm. And this woman tried to destroy your life because, so I went home and,'cause we still, you know, we had our house and, um, I drove to Jones and Granddaddy was in the living room, asleep and snoring. And Nana looks at me, she says, so what is wrong with you? And I just start squalling. She's like, what the hell? What is wrong? And I tell her, and she's like, that's what's wrong, because your granddaddy's, he's your granddaddy's been freaking out, like thinking that you were depressed or like, didn't know what was wrong with you. But as I was like figuring all this out, I didn't know how to tell them. Yeah. And so you're panicking because you're like, if this man is my dad, like my dad's still my dad and will always be my dad. But I still want to explore this family like this is still also would be my family and I have siblings and somewhere that I came from that I didn't know and like, would my dad still love me? Mm-hmm. And want me in his life if he knows. And my nana and granddaddy, like I knew my granddaddy wouldn't stop talking to me. And now looking back like I should have known my nana wouldn't either, but you, you can't control what you're gonna think and what you feel at the moment. Mm-hmm. Like all this is happening. And she's like, Amanda, like you should have told me you were going through all this. And I was just like, Nana, what did you want me to say? Like, where did you want me to start? Ring, ring, ring, ring. Yo, you better not be my man. And that's why y'all don't like my ass. Like, what the fuck? So I actually told Shelly and made her tell my dad, now mind you, like at this point, you know, I know that this man's not my dad. And so I call Shelly and I'm like, Hey. I gotta talk to you. And she's probably thinking, oh, Annie's done, done some bullshit. Like something totally off the wall, you know? And I'm like, I tell her and she goes, oh my God, why have you not called us? And I was like, I didn't know. I needed to know, know, I needed to know. So I'm like, can you tell Daddy? And she's like, uh, yeah. So it's like an hour later and my phone rings and it's my dad, and I'm just like, look, and it says Daddy. And I'm looking down at my phone just like this right here. And I'm watching the phone ring and I just watch it and then I let it go to voicemail, and then I'm like, mm, what do I do? I'm like, panicking. And so he, it starts ringing again and I answered, I'm like, hello? And he goes, child, why have you not called me? He's like, I'm so sorry. He was like, I don't know who I feel worse for, you know the man or you both, myself, whatever. He was like, but I can tell you the day you were conceived, we were planning the wedding. Karen's two, because remember, we all got married at the same time. He said, and we were at our apartment and Karen and Theresa had went to town to pick something up, he said, and I got her pregnant that night. That, that day in that. 30 minute timeframe. And I was like, who? He was like, that's the day I was a Valentine's baby. I was conceived, um, Valenti. Yep. So it's was my baby, and that's why I was born November 12th. Okay. Shout out. I'll get a PO box if anybody ever wants to send me a birthday gift. You don't have to, but if you send me DNA tests, I mean, they won't get used, but I'll frame'em just because, and I'm like, I should have just told him. Mm-hmm. But I still, I still feel like I went about it the right way. You didn't know how to, because had I called him like, yo, jm, I don't think, yo, this baby's pappy. And he'd have been like, what? You know, but. After I talked to him because he was sick. He was sick over it, he was upset for me. He was upset for this man because of everything that was said and done.'cause like I'm reading him these messages and he actually didn't start speaking to Annie again. I mean, he talked to her some like functions and what, you know, when he had to, but he really didn't talk to her until a few months before he died. And because I will say this, like my dad loved my mom. Mm-hmm. He loved her as crazy as she was. I think he truly did love her. Yeah. And I remember one time when Matt and Annie, before they got married, they had like broke up and he called, she called my dad.'cause my dad was married to, um, his second wife for like that whole two months that he was married to her. And um, was like, I broke up with him. I love you. I want you to come home. So my dad. Leaves, his wife moves in with her or no, he like stays the night. He's like, I gotta go pack my stuff. Like I'm gonna go pack my stuff, I'll be back. So he leaves, tells his wife it's over, he's going home and he pulls up and Matt's in the driveway and, and he never do anything like Yeah. And it's like, you're just doing this shit to fuck with people's lives, you know? So, um, I sent her this text because you know how I am, I'm not going to tell you my feelings on the phone because I want factual proof of what I've said. I want text evidence. Okay. You ain't gonna twist my words. And I've learned that the hard way, especially with your pappy and my, and that baby is Pappy. And so I want text proof always. Yeah. And so, um, I was like, I just had a DNA test done. I know that you've told this man this and his wife and you've been telling them this for years. And she immediately starts trying to call me and I don't answer because not doing it. So this was like the first initial, I'm done, I've washed my hands of you. Mm-hmm. And um, she sends me this text, she was like, that's not true. Like he thought you were. And I didn't say that. and I kept telling him you weren't here. I was like, I've done read it. Like I've already read everything you've said from them from the beginning. Mm-hmm. To the end starting 15 years ago. Like, don't comment me because today is not the day. And so Reed was in school and like, I'm getting ready'cause I didn't, I made you go pick Reed up from school. Yeah. Um, she shows up at the house and is banging on all of our windows and doors and is like screaming for us to open the doors. Stella's crying. I'm in the closet. Corbin's on the cameras'cause he's in Texas and he's like, do you want me to call the cops? And I'm like. If she breaks something or doesn't leave, you're gonna have to, like, I'm telling her to leave my house through text Corbin's, like on the cameras, like, get the fuck out my driveway. Yeah, you is cooked bitch cooked crisp. Yeah. And you had to go get read from school. Mm-hmm. And I remember, um, I just, I don't know. We, we ended up, it was like, what, the next year or, or maybe we did like Stella, I'm trying to remember how it all played out because the last time like I invited her to something was Stella's. I think I sat on this info for a lot longer. Maybe it was like months and months and months. Because I remember inviting her to Stella's fourth birthday part. At the roller skate. Mm-hmm. Her roller skate party. And she got there and Daddy and Shelly were obviously there and like everybody knows all this. So it was the next birthday, that's what it was. I didn't talk to her for almost a year and she convinced me to let her come to Stella's birthday'cause she had showed up at my house and she was talking about how I had hurt her feelings.'cause I told my Aunt Karen happy birthday on Facebook. And um, she didn't like that because her and Karen didn't speak to each other and that I didn't tell her I was proud of her enough. And, um, what else was it? Just the whole slew of the things and I was like, I will, if you would like to come to Stella's birthday, I will extend that. Yeah. You know, and so she did and she was given Daddy and Shelly ugly looks the whole time and then got pissed off that I was rollerskating with my daughter for her birthday and caused the scene and left and. That was it. Mm-hmm. I was done. Mommy. Yes. Daddy gonna be back in just a minute, but we're almost done. Okay. I love you. Love you. So, I actually, a couple months ago and I, I was feeling very parentless after Daddy died. Mm-hmm. Because me and my daddy talked all the time, um, sending pictures and, you know, all the things and like it really took its toll on me. And then losing granddaddy Yeah. Really took its toll on me. Um, but before granddaddy passed that granddaddy had really started kind of going downhill. Um, she had text me and I responded and like, we talked for almost two weeks and I don't even know if you know any of this. So I tried really hard and I was like, maybe she's changed.'cause Austin was like, you know, she's changed some, but a little bit. And really too, Cooper at that time was like, you know. I might talk to her, he's not now. Um, I might talk to her and I was like, well, let me put my feelers out there and really just see what's going on. Because I told him, and even after like this ended, I was like, you know, you do, you Boo Cooper, you do you and I'll support you, but from the sideline. she was like, you know, um, still no accountability because when you confront somebody like all the other things, which would have to be 72 other episodes, because this isn't even the worst thing she's ever done. Not even close, but there's no accountability and it didn't happen like that or that never happened or whatever. And so, I told her from the get go, like, you're not gonna pull me into any of your bullshit, or it's done a week and a half in, she tried to pull me in her and Austin's shit and I called Austin immediately and I'm like, clocking out. And he's like, fuck it. And I was like, fuck it. And I told her, I was like, do not ever contact me again. I tried because I felt lonely. Yeah. Like I just was looking for an adult, a real adult, because I'm not a real adult, I'm just, I've just got some kids. Yeah. And you know, like I never feel like a real adult. And I was like, I just need a real adult in my life. I miss my dad and mistake. But now I know just like with your mom, like now, you know? Mm-hmm. Because I feel like had your mom died and you not had those few months of talking to her and figuring it out on your own now, you would have regrets. Yeah. And you would wonder, had she changed, did I miss out on someone who would love me and be a mother to me and all the things. There would be a lot of regret, now I'm like, okay, if something had happened or whatever. I didn't want to have any regrets because of daddy. because I have no regrets to where it comes to mind in my dad's relationship. we loved each other, but I had to see that she had changed for myself and turns out she hadn't so cool. I think she was crazy to Cooper and Austin, but I think you got the, the majority of it I did and well, I was able, and it's like Austin says a lot, I was able to protect them from a lot that I couldn't protect myself from the physical abuse. Mm-hmm. Which she will deny until she dies. But I remember she beat me so bad in the front yard one time'cause she said I gave my boyfriend a hickey. Don't get me wrong, I did a lot of bad shit as a kid. Um, all kids do shit, but there's shit that I probably did as a result of what was going on at home. Having sex at 14. Mm-hmm. And 15 years old and drinking. And I was looking for someone to love me. And I, I was looking, yeah. I was looking. I wanted to be accepted. Yeah. And I was looking for something I did not have at home. so don't get me wrong, I know that I was doing shit that I shouldn't have been doing, but she beat me so bad in the front yard. And me, Matt and Papa were there and Theresa was there. And Papa, I remember Papa yelling, like, get her off of her. And I kept telling her like, stop hitting me. I'm gonna hit you back. Well, finally I did. And then they had to pull me off her. And I always felt bad for doing that. But I look at myself at that age, I look at my daughter and think, can I, how do you do that to your child? Mm-hmm. And I couldn't go to school for a week. I was with daddy. And, um. I mean, I had two black eyes. He were, he was bouncing at Big Daddy's in the Curve right before Yaya's Bar. And um, they weren't open and they had to stop ice my face and stuff.'cause both my eyes were swollen shut. or like when her, when she would go off on Matt and I would get the boys and lock them in a room, and I'd call Paul. Of course I'd get in trouble later by Matt and Mom, but what do you do? Mm-hmm. And I was able to protect them from the physical aspect of it. Yeah. They never got that. Austin got a lot of the berating, A lot of his was from Matt. Um, mom paid a lot of extra special attention to Austin because of guilt. She felt about things that she thought when she was pregnant, which isn't my story to tell. And Austin May tell it one day, don't know that's that's for him to choose. But Cooper wants to come. And he wants to share his truth and yeah. That's probably gonna be wild. Wow. Yeah, and I have a lot more I can say. Yeah. Like, I mean, our childhood was not easy, but No, it wasn't. I'll just save it. And it's like you, you look and, and Cooper should, Cooper should, he's going to, it's one of those things like do you, I know you were nervous to do this, but how do you feel now? Oh, I feel good. It's enjoyable. Feel good. It's just to be able to say it out loud. Yeah. I feel like, because I think, I think there's so many people because, and I tell people this too, had I told somebody what was really going on at home and they pulled up into our driveway with our nice ass house and our nice ass vehicles. Mm-hmm. And looked at our family, they would have said, there's nothing going on here. Mm-hmm. This is a spoiled ass kid who probably didn't get their weight and they would've turned right back around. Yeah. They would have not taken me seriously. And same thing with you. I mean, people, there's a stigma around being poor, white people in, you know? Yeah. Living in the slums and getting the shit beat out of'em and parents neglect them and are addicted to this or addicted to that. It's the same way in the nice houses. Yeah. It's the same way in the nice houses. It is. And we, I mean, we both had nice houses. We lived right next to each other. Right. You just know that and nobody knows how it is until you go through it. Right. I could have told people all day long and very much in my house, which I don't necessarily think it was this way at your house. Um, because like I know your parents. Yeah. Like half-assed raised me too. Um, and vice versa. I mean, you were always with me. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. We, it was very much, you don't tell it. Mm-hmm. You don't tell it, you don't talk about it. We don't discuss it. This is not happening. And that was drilled into me and Matt. he loved us and he did the best he could. He did. I will give him that. He did the best he could, but there's shame and you don't want people to know mm-hmm. What's happening. Because I remember when Annie had, she was in a unit and um, I wanted to leave'cause it was the first time we were getting to see her. And she had been there for like a month. And, um, my softball coach, coach Cole was like, you can't leave practice earlier. And I was like, no, I have to. And he's like, you can't. And I'm like, no, Matt's right there. I have to go. And he's like, you're not leaving until you tell me why. And I'm like, ah, I have to see my mom. And this is why. And when Matt realized what I had said. I, it was bad. It was bad. I mean, he lit into my ass. Lit into my fucking ass, and there was hell to pay. Mm-hmm. Like I, I don't think I got grounded, but like, I knew I had fucked up, you know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. Oh fuck. I've done fucked up. Because, and even when she wasn't there, it was round the clock either.'cause Karen was married to Clint, so either Clint was there,'cause Karen worked. Um, and Clint had just gotten back from deployment. Clint would be there, or n Gail would be there, or Theresa would be there. And if Karen wasn't working, Karen was there and they would rotate because she had to have somebody sit with her. And even when they weren't, between me and Gail and Theresa boys, taking the boys to practice, picking the boys up from school, taking the boys to school, um, this, that, that, that, had I told somebody outside of our family what was going on, they would have never believed me. Mm-hmm. Not one time would they have believed me. No. And then you look stupid. And then I'm about to get the fuck beat outta me by her because she's, y'all are gonna be here. And then she let officer, that's not what happened. Like, I am so good to these kids and you're gonna believe her because shes a true narcissist, knows how to lay it all out there. And that's when people like, when they hear stuff like, I know her and that is not true. Exactly. It, I mean, it is true. That's how it was with me because when I wanted to get a relationship with Christie, everybody was like, oh, she's great. Mm-hmm. And duh da. Okay. I have a whole box sitting in my closet that says otherwise I've learned over the years, you can convince people of who you want to be and who, yeah. You can make people think anything in this world, but when it comes down to it, unless you've lived it mm-hmm. You don't actually know the truth. You don't. Yeah, I've enjoyed this. Me too. It was fun. I'll have to do it again. Seriously. The next time I'm in town we'll tell extra stories. Perfect. We've enjoyed this guys and we love y'all. And, um, if you have toxic parents, man, let us know. Yeah, shoot us an email. Let's get weirdish pod@gmail.com. But until next time, Keep it weird. You did good. Uh, you did a good job. Like I did not you, did you look creep? It's not bad, is it? No, it not. I respect. No, you've been in there a while. I'll sit in there for about 20 minutes. I know